Them That Ask No Questions Isn’t Told A Lie

18 Mar

100 words for Friday Fictioneers based on the photo prompt below from Rachael Bjerke, a green hued picture that seems synchronistically perfect for the celebration of the day of St. Patrick, who, as we all know, was canonized by Pope Bartholomeo the Pre-emptory for driving all the frogs out of Louisiana. Imagine that.

 

Rachel Bjerke

(Copyright Rachael Bjerke)

In 1954, a talking frog said goodbye to his thousands of brothers and sisters and climbed to the top of a magic fountain to ask about his future with the spirit that lived within.

“You will live in a big city but make your living on the street. Each year before the ponds turn to ice, people will inflate a gigantic likeness of you and pull it between tall buildings.”

“Why?”

“It’s not clear.”

“Anything else?”

“You will marry a pig.”

“I’m going back to the swamp.”

“It’s not easy being green.”

 

Screen Shot 2015-03-18 at 12.51.29 AM

Screen Shot 2015-03-18 at 1.51.20 AM

67 Responses to “Them That Ask No Questions Isn’t Told A Lie”

  1. Suzanne Joshi March 18, 2015 at 11:14 am #

    That t-shirt is hilarious, Doug. Is it one of yours? Somehow I never thought of Kermit as being Irish. 😀 No wonder he’s charmed Miss Piggy. Well done little tale. 🙂 — Suzanne

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 11:50 am #

      Dear Suzanne,

      The t-shirt is property of the internet. Look for it there. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  2. Jessie Ansons March 18, 2015 at 11:24 am #

    Haha at first I had no idea what you were talking about… The pig bit made me laugh out loud. But I got there in the end.

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 11:51 am #

      Dear Jessie,

      Never give away your secrets until the very end. Thanks for hanging in there.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  3. micklively March 18, 2015 at 11:48 am #

    The piece is great and the intro even better. I shall irreverently giggle whenever I hear Saint Pat’s name in future.

    • dmmacilroy March 18, 2015 at 1:18 pm #

      Dear Mick,

      Thank you, sir. Glad I could add to the day for you.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  4. rochellewisoff March 18, 2015 at 11:56 am #

    Dear Doug,

    “Sunny day, sweepin’ the clouds awaaay…” Today’s story is sponsored by the letter M. Nice work as always. When you choose to write humor, you set the bar high. Innovative. Laughter. Yippee!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 11:53 am #

      Dear Rochelle,

      Thanks for dropping by to say hello. I appreciate your innovative yowling laughter.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  5. gahlearner March 18, 2015 at 12:12 pm #

    Heheheh. Wonderful, from beginning to end, including the shirt.

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 11:53 am #

      Dear Gahlearner,

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  6. santoshwriter March 18, 2015 at 1:33 pm #

    hehe…funny little tale! Beautiful writing!

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 11:54 am #

      Dear Santosh,

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  7. Snow's Fissures and Fractures March 18, 2015 at 2:59 pm #

    Oh, you made me laugh, so thank you for that. What a funny story, good job spotting that frog. I am usually good at that, especially if I need to dig deeper for an inspiration, but this week it hit me from the first look.

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 11:55 am #

      Dear Lore,

      Thanks for laughing. I never set out to make folks laugh and that they do is always heartening.

      Aloha,

      Doug

      • rgayer55 March 20, 2015 at 2:43 pm #

        I laughed too, Doug. Now, you’ll be riding in the back of the bus with me and Perry.

  8. sustainabilitea March 18, 2015 at 3:15 pm #

    I barely made it through the intro, because my imaginings were running wild. Your story only added funny fuel to the flames. Thanks for some much-needed laughs!

    janet

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 11:56 am #

      Dear Janet,

      Thanks for the guffaw and for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  9. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) March 18, 2015 at 3:23 pm #

    Ha.. how quickly you moved from a tale of mythology to Kermit the frog.. It’s not easy being green indeed..

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 11:56 am #

      Dear Bjorn,

      The stuff of legends, eh? Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  10. bykimberlylynne March 18, 2015 at 3:28 pm #

    LOL’ed. I’m giving away my age when “live in the big city but make your living on the street” made me think first of Michigan J. Frog. Thanks for the giggle.

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 11:57 am #

      Dear Kimberly,

      You are very welcome. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  11. Helena Hann-Basquiat March 18, 2015 at 3:36 pm #

    Many smiles here. When I was in high school, there was a band in town with the innocently dirty name of Kermit’s Fingers.

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 11:58 am #

      Dear Helena,

      Oooh, ick. just what they were groping for, I guess. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  12. patrickprinsloo March 18, 2015 at 4:48 pm #

    That’s so funny. Tough being green, though. We must support them.

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 11:58 am #

      Dear Patrick,

      Thanks for saying so.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  13. elmowrites March 18, 2015 at 6:49 pm #

    LOL, Doug. You don’t give us your humour very often, but it feels even more like a gift when you do as a result. Maybe it’s best that the rest of us don’t know our future.

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 12:00 pm #

      Dear Jennifer,

      I never really set out to write humor. I wouldn’t know how to do that. Sometimes the blind squirrel finds an acorn or two. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  14. Priceless Joy March 18, 2015 at 9:23 pm #

    I have a big smile on my face and a laugh in my belly. “It isn’t easy being green.” It isn’t easy STAYING green! LOL

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 12:00 pm #

      Dear PJ,

      Thanks for smiling.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  15. storydivamg March 18, 2015 at 10:27 pm #

    Hehe! Fun stuff this week, Doug.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 12:01 pm #

      Dear Marie Gail,

      Thanks!

      Aloha,

      Doug

  16. aliciajamtaas March 18, 2015 at 10:31 pm #

    Doug! This is very funny. Especially the “Why?” “It’s not clear” part. After all, who wouldn’t wonder that. Thanks for making me laugh. Alicia

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 12:02 pm #

      Dear Alicia,

      I figured that magic spirits in fountains might not be up on the play and so threw that bit in there to give the conversation a feeling of veracity. Thanks for reading and commenting. You’re welcome for the laugh.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  17. lingeringvisions by Dawn March 19, 2015 at 12:22 am #

    Okay..this made me snicker out loud, and i needed that.

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 12:03 pm #

      Dear Dawn,

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  18. David Stewart March 19, 2015 at 1:28 am #

    Ah Doug, that really made me laugh. Leave it to you to pick out a very tiny part of the picture that everyone else missed. 🙂 You are a master of detail.
    -David

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 12:04 pm #

      Dear David,

      I always look for those details but must admit I was surprised to see the likeness of Kermit on the statuary frog. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  19. subroto March 19, 2015 at 2:59 am #

    Ha! Ha! The pig ended up in a Kermited relationship then. Nice one.

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 12:05 pm #

      Dear Subroto,

      I want to go back and insert your line in my story. i’m green with envy that you said it and not I. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  20. The Writer's Village March 19, 2015 at 10:31 am #

    Well, okay, then. Funny bit.
    i wonder if he wound up with the ugly pig… Randy

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 12:05 pm #

      Dear Randy,

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

      • The Writer's Village March 20, 2015 at 10:13 am #

        Oh. This was about the Muppets? Never watched it.
        Disregard any comment about ugly pigs. Totally inappropriate.
        i hope I haven’t offended any kiddies.

  21. draliman March 19, 2015 at 11:43 am #

    Ha! It only fully dawned on me with the very last line 🙂
    Very clever.

    • dmmacilroy March 19, 2015 at 12:06 pm #

      Dear Draliman,

      Just trying to draw it out slowly. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  22. siobhanmcnamara March 19, 2015 at 1:57 pm #

    Kermit’s ‘origin’ story – love it

  23. Jan Brown March 19, 2015 at 5:33 pm #

    Doug, I love this little story. We don’t often see humor from you but you do it so well. Can we have more?

  24. junkersfictioncorner March 19, 2015 at 7:57 pm #

    Pun on Muppets… love it! Kermie rocks!

  25. waitingforaname March 19, 2015 at 9:24 pm #

    Love the dialogue at the end, Doug. “It’s not clear.” Yeah, there are a lot of things I don’t get, either, Kermit.

  26. unwindthechaos March 19, 2015 at 11:10 pm #

    What a funny and lovely story, and what a great use of the prompt! Loved it!

  27. MythRider March 20, 2015 at 12:04 am #

    This is great. I love it. I can just see Kermit saying no thanks.
    Good thing he didn’t. ;0)

  28. Tracey@WhatsforDinnerDoc.com March 20, 2015 at 3:34 am #

    “Why?” “It’s not clear.” That is my favorite part. I chuckled. Thanks, Tracey

  29. erinleary March 20, 2015 at 4:27 am #

    C’mon, Kermit. You can do this! And by the way, very little is ever really clear.

  30. Inside the Mind of Isadora March 20, 2015 at 4:54 am #

    Awwww … Kermy is such a sweet little frog. I adore him. How could one not adore him? I like where you’ve gone with this prompt. Very nice …!!!!

  31. Perry Block (@PerryBlock) March 20, 2015 at 5:28 am #

    So cool! “You will marry a pig!” True for some people aside from Kermit and Miss Piggy. Great use of the picture prompt subtly and creatively bringing these characters back for all we adults.

  32. Cheryl McCullough March 20, 2015 at 9:07 am #

    Brilliant! Great writing 😃

  33. Sarah Potter Writes March 20, 2015 at 12:12 pm #

    Dear Doug,
    I’m croaking and snorting with laughter, and jumping about like a pig-phibian D: I wonder how many people would leap back into their “ponds”, if they could see into their futures!
    Well told.
    All best wishes
    Sarah

  34. Alice Audrey March 20, 2015 at 2:23 pm #

    Wow, talk about attention to detail! Works beautifully.

  35. rgayer55 March 20, 2015 at 2:44 pm #

    I’m finding it easy to be green after reading this. Green with envy that is. Making people laugh is fun, don’t you agree?

  36. mjlstories March 20, 2015 at 6:30 pm #

    Well that was unexpected – versatility Doug.
    Sounds fun on the back of that bus with Kermit and the boys.

  37. adamjasonp March 20, 2015 at 7:25 pm #

    LOL! And you zoomed in on the frog! I didn’t even notice the fountain had a frog until you pointed it out. 🙂

  38. Sonya March 20, 2015 at 8:59 pm #

    I didn’t even notice the frog in the photo… Your story made me laugh. “you will make your living on the streets” and “you will marry a pig” – great lines.

  39. Margaret March 20, 2015 at 10:28 pm #

    Hilarious. Don’t go back to the swamp, Kermit. We need you.

  40. hafong March 21, 2015 at 1:18 am #

    I love frogs!

    Lily

  41. Weltchysnotebook March 21, 2015 at 9:28 am #

    Brilliant Doug, brilliant

  42. rogershipp March 21, 2015 at 11:13 pm #

    Kermit… 1…. Ms Piggy loses.

  43. talesfromthemotherland March 22, 2015 at 4:35 pm #

    Doug, I never would have noticed the frog in that scene! Photoshop, or really there?? This is such a new direction for you, but done so well. Humorous, playful, and using one of my all time favorite characters (ever!)… I really enjoyed this one– left me with a big smile. Nice job, darlin’!

  44. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist March 23, 2015 at 6:19 am #

    Haha. Thanks Doug for the good laugh. Poor Miss Piggy must feel a tad rejected.

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