The End (I Hate to say I Told you So…)

May 10,  2020

Day 50

2 New cases. 3 Recovered cases. Ratio of recovered cases to active cases is still 91%. This number is going to climb slowly from here on out, but climb it shall.

 

(A picture of the moon out of my window)

 

 

In other news today I found the video report below…

 

…and hope it is not inappropriate to quote Winston Churchill.

“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

 

In the meantime Covid-19 burnout continues worldwide. People are tired of there being such an inconvenient thing as a global pandemic and hearing about it endlessly. Because I am sensitive to everyone’s feelings I am going to stop going on about the contagion. We as humans have seen much worse and survived to invent his one. The worldwide economy is reverberating discordantly, the skies are empty of chem-trails and the seas are getting cleaner by the day. Anyone who was reading has nodded off or found better ways to amuse themselves under whatever version of ‘lockdown’ they’re under, so it’s time to move on. If I don’t make it, I’ll send up a flare. If I do make it, you know where to find me, studying Kiwi and Mandarin and watching closely as one era ends and another begins.

Not having Covid-19 to kick around any longer I have decided to branch out into clairvoyance and share some predictions which will come true very shortly. It is my hope that they may help you to plan your soon to be changing future.

1. In response to the collective impotence and lack of vision evinced by the rest of the world and as a follow on of its already stated policy towards Taiwan, China is going to take over the renegade island militarily. It will crush all major resistance within three months of the start of hostilities (which will not be called hostilities) and will commence re-educating the survivors with extreme prejudice. There will be ham-handed attempts by America to intervene through a series of useless U.N. resolutions, vague bluster and empty threats, while China, under the policy of We Own Everything except Covid-19, will shut down all maritime traffic through the South China Sea save for its own commercial and military vessels.
2. A full court diplomatic and economic press will tie the hands of every country on the planet, giving China time to present the takeover as a fait accompli. As the nation of Taiwan will no longer exist (just ask China) the United States will reason, quite logically and conveniently, that it no longer has to adhere to any treaty obligations it had with the former non-nation. They will hoist a Mission Accomplished banner and leave the area before the paint on the new signs at Taipei’s airport has a chance to dry. What once was called Taiwan-sheng or Taiwan province will cease to exist on paper even as it is subsumed by the invaders who will name themselves something innocuous but patriotic. Something snappy like The Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere Forces of Reunification. What? It’s been used before? No matter. Move along please. Nothing to see here.
3. China’s Renminbi, or Yuan, will become a global currency and will challenge the U.S. Dollar for supremacy. https://www.thebalance.com/u-s-debt-to-china-how-much-does-it-own-3306355
4.  China will land men and women on the moon, set up a permanently manned base     there and claim ownership of the Earth’s satellite. https://www.space.com/13331-china-space-race-moon-ownership-bigelow-ispcs.html
5. https://www.china-briefing.com/news/china-proposes-establishing-moon-based-special-economic-zone/
6. China will take over Australia and New Zealand through aggressive commercial practices and strategic purchases of key industries and land blocks.
7. Before item number six happens I will have shuffled off this mortal coil.
8. Before I do that I predict that I will say I told you so.

 

 

 

 

Flying Switch

100 words out of the blue for my fellow travelers in Friday Fictioneers. Nice to see you all again. Don’t comment, as I’m moving fast and may not be able to answer. Just enjoy the ride. I’ll settle soon. Love to you all, D.

 

(C0pyright Stephen Baum)

See that light up ahead? Early on in life and for years thereafter I’d have said it was an oncoming train. You get a feel for what your mistakes look like rushing toward you through the gloom.

Once I passed the half century mark I figured out that though I was on the tracks, I was also in charge of the trains. I learned to change their schedules or shunt them onto sidings and in time became a good stationmaster.

Now I know the light is my future.

It’s bright.

It’s the beginning of anything I want.

And it’s about time.

 

 

 

Them That Ask No Questions Isn’t Told A Lie

100 words for Friday Fictioneers based on the photo prompt below from Rachael Bjerke, a green hued picture that seems synchronistically perfect for the celebration of the day of St. Patrick, who, as we all know, was canonized by Pope Bartholomeo the Pre-emptory for driving all the frogs out of Louisiana. Imagine that.

 

(Copyright Rachael Bjerke)

In 1954, a talking frog said goodbye to his thousands of brothers and sisters and climbed to the top of a magic fountain to ask about his future with the spirit that lived within.

“You will live in a big city but make your living on the street. Each year before the ponds turn to ice, people will inflate a gigantic likeness of you and pull it between tall buildings.”

“Why?”

“It’s not clear.”

“Anything else?”

“You will marry a pig.”

“I’m going back to the swamp.”

“It’s not easy being green.”

 

The Dog House

100 words for Friday Fictioneers based on the photo prompt below from Jan Wayne Fields.

 

(Copyright Jan Wayne Fields)

 

“What are you in for?” asked the old-timer.

“Disappointed my wife,” replied the new guy.

“Rough.”

“Failure to live up to expectations, failure to change and failure to be her first choice for a husband.”

“Rough again. How long you in for?”

“Life.”

“Double rough.”

“No, that part’s not that…”

“Rough.”

“I’ve got a roof over my head, some good company and best of all, she’s not talking to me.”

“Good point.”

“What’s your crime, buddy?”

“Humping your mother-in-law’s leg every time she visits.”

“Good boy.”

 

 

 

 

Long Time Coming

99 words for Friday Fictioneers, a caravan of sorts. People come and go at will, but their stories remain. The good ones are like rain in the desert.

 

 

After walking for an eternity over endless dunes, he came upon salvation in a verdant glade nestled between green valley walls shaded by long white clouds. Kneeling in reverence and gratitude, he placed his hands on either side of a slick fosse and inhaled the fragrance of moss-furred walls.

When his lips met wetness, warm and tremulous, he waited, savoring the moment. It was a sweet thing to be so close, to feel the wellspring of life tremble beneath him, and to know that he could drink deep until sated.

That night he slept and dreamt of geysers erupting.

 

Honeymoon

One hundred words for Friday Fictioneers based on the photo prompt below from Jean L. Hays. Thank you for reading. Yes, you. Aloha, D.

 

 

On a golden beach that bordered a green and rolling land, newlyweds Cam and Val explored flotsam and jetsam and quietly savored the feel of their clasped hands. They found a child’s toy bulldozer in the sand, took it as a sign and set up their tent on the spot. He built a driftwood fire as the sun set and stars rose out of a darkling sea into sable sky. Sourdough bread dipped in olive oil, wine and grilled kebabs was dinner, contentment their dessert.

That night as they slept, softly entwined, the moon looked down on them and smiled.

 

 

Joint Venture

100 words for Friday Fictioneers, an organization of writers (Est. by Madison Woods in 2011) whose current CEO is Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The mission statement of FF members is to write a flash fiction piece based on the photo prompt below, to be audited by their associates.

 

Copyright Adam Ickes

 

 

“Physical inventory?” I texted.

“Yes.” my partner replied.

I thought about the changes I’d demanded. He preferred vertical analysis of inflation rate and dividends in arrears with the ultimate goal of immediate liquidation. I wanted a horizontal analysis with emphasis on non-routine transactions, double entry bookkeeping and asset manipulation and had had enough of staring at last year’s invoices because he liked a specific installment method. The intent was a friendly merger, not a split offering.

At the storeroom door I query him.

“Couch?”

“Installed.”

“Ram?”

“Pawn shop.”

“Then let’s get to work.”

 

 

 

 

 

Kansas City Wide Open 2014

The 2014 Kansas City Wide Open Disc Golf Championships are over. Paul McBeth took Open Pro at Swope Gold Course and way at the other end of the card, over at Blue Valley Park, I took Pro Senior Grandmasters. The courses were tough and long with big elevation changes. It was hot as Missouri in Summer, but our card had really wonderful players all three days. The first two days Mike Maness and I  played with the Pro Women Masters and on the final day we played with two Open Pro women.

Top left, Senior Grandmaster Mike Maness (2nd place) and Pro Master Tavish Carduff (2nd place)

Bottom row from left Pro Masters Women winner Peg Berry, Sheila Kirkham (third place), and Douglas MacIlroy (the trophy is ceramic, very heavy and shaped like a disc. Cool.)

 

One tournament down and one to go. Next weekend I will bang my head on two courses for two days in Jefferson City, Missouri, at the Mid-America Open and see what happens.

Now it’s off to find the Disc Golf World store in downtown K.C. and see what swag I can find to jam into the plane for the flight back to Hawaii when all this fun is over.

 

Aloha,

 

Doug

Going Disc Golfing

There’s only one thing I love more than writing and that’s Disc Golfing. I try not to go on about it lest the very mention of the sport turn into something like this….

…but I’m off to the mainland tomorrow to compete in the (Halt and the Lame Division) 32nd annual Kansas City Wide Open Disc Golf Championship. The following weekend I’ll travel east to Jefferson City, MO. to play in the 30th annual Mid-America Open (Same division). In my brain the two weekends will look and feel sort of like this (a shot which resulted in a birdie)…

…but that’s another story…

…and I just wanted to let my regular readers (to whom I am quietly grateful and deeply indebted in ways they may never know) where I’ve disappeared to for the next two weeks. I’ll be back with some swag and two trophies (That’s the spirit, laddie!) and some blah, blah, blah-bitty-blah, disc golf stories to share.

Aloha,

Doug

The Nerve (II)

100 words for Friday Fictioneers. (A reposting this week as per Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s suggestion. Coincidentally, I will be on the road for two weeks, so her idea could not have come at a better time.)

When I first posted this story (The Nerve) it was woefully overlong at 147 words because I had yet to master the fine art of slicing, dicing and killing my darlings. For this post I decided to try to pare it down to 100 words. The result, again based again on a fine picture by Mary Shipman, can be read below. For those of you with time on your hands, you might want to check out the original and compare it to this one just to see what got blown away. Or not. I’ll never know. (I’ll try to comment on your stories when I can this week and next, but expect me only if you see me. Mahalo.)

Should I get taken to the Land of Oz on my travels and not be able to find my way back, please know I meant every word I ever said.

I love all of you.

 

Aloha, D.

 

 

Copyright Mary Shipman

 

The funnel cloud writhed, sinuous and silent above rich farmland.

“If you’re going to stay up there, say hello to the Wizard for me,” screamed my wife from the cellar. A shrew and a control freak, she had long ago become oil to my water.

“Courage,” I heard Bert Lahr intone.

A thunderous roar filled the air as the tip touched down across the street and blew the Baum’s house to splinters.

Time to fly.

My last thought before darkness descended was that the witch was finally going to have to get some new wallpaper for the living room.