100 words for Friday Fictioneers, a tiny band of writers on the winding road of life whose journey each week sometimes includes writing a short story based on a photo prompt (shown below courtesy of Bjorn Rudberg). The head of the road crew is Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
(Copyright Bjorn Rudberg.)
The woman who cuts my hair smells of lavender and sometimes the sea if she has gone swimming in the morning. Barefoot, in jeans, her fuchsia silk blouse unbuttoned just so, she leans close as she works and tells me how the water felt on her skin or of the color of the dawn.
I sit still and erect, every sense on edge until she finishes. She never asks if I am satisfied.
I pay, then press my tip into her warm hands.
“Come again.” She smiles.
The men in her waiting room frown at me as I leave.
ironwoodwind 
well, okay,
erectile as well as tactile function, I take it.
happy endings for all.
randy
Dear Randy,
With a first name like yours, I should have expected that.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
What a wonderful description of the woman, Doug. I can see her! But I am blushing just a little at your story … The meaning is very subtly touched on but it still stands out.
Dear Karen,
This is more along the lines of what I intended. Thank you for seeing the woman as I saw her. Beautiful, erotic and yet still somewhat reserved. I appreciate you reading and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Doug,
This is a wonderfully layered story. I like the way you weave the sexual tension through to the end.
Cheers!
Marie Gail
Dear Marie,
Thanks for peeling back the layers and seeing the under….currents in the story. I tried to write a story akin to the picture of the thunderhead.
I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment.
Aloha,
Doug
Deftly written. You took us exactly where you wanted us to go. 😉
Dear Lynda,
That is a comment that makes me smile. Like seeing the arrow quivering in the center of the bull’s eye way downrange. Thank you.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Doug,
Fuchsia’s one of my favorite variations of purple. Okay. I love all variations of purple. You have an enviable knack for writing many layers into a story. A beautifully crafted glimpse into the male psyche.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Rochelle,
Perhaps I should have titled my story, Fifty Shades of Fuchsia. Thank you for noticing the layers.
As to the male psyche? I haven’t a clue…just mine.
Aloha,
Doug
That woman is in control. And she knows it. Nice one.
Dear Sandra,
I edited a sentence that said almost that. Better to show than tell, no. Thank you for such a discerning comment.
Aloha,
Doug
Hi Doug,
First I’m happy you really caught the reason for why I took the picture.. the fuchsia part of the house was so intriguing… I must say you have captured that feeling of an excellent hair-dresser well… 🙂
Coming to think about it, I think it might have been taken in the valley of the nuns… (curral das freiras) quite close to Funchal.
Dear Bjorn,
Thanks for the geo-location. I will resume my search.
i usually zoom in on each picture and study them minutely. The fuchsia section of the building intrigued me right from the start.
For the record, that woman was real. When she left Kona half the men in town wept (which is how I know that Rochelle’s last line is true.)
Aloha,
Doug
Your words pull me deeper and deeper, so I can almost smell the ocean and feel the tingling of the salt on my skin. Nice to glimpse the world through your eyes.
Dear Lore,
Nice to have you there with me. Thank you for reading and for such a nice comment.
Aloha,
Doug
It was nice to read something different, something told from different angle 🙂 Absolutely loved it!
Dear SW,
I am gratified that the different angle paid off for both of us. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
I think my head is about to explode! If only I could get up (oops!) early enough to go swimming with her ….
Dear Perry,
She’s out there swimming all the time.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
How playfully erotic, darling. I love what words can do if used correctly, and how there’s no need to be vulgar to make the pulse race. Well done.
Dear Helena,
If I ever come across as vulgar, please shoot me. Thanks for your kind comment. I loved your story this week. Thank you for visiting mine.
Aloha,
Doug
Your description of the hair dresser is so simple yet so involved. A truly lovely woman doesn’t need to try she just “is.” You’ve captured this one well. Lovely, Doug.
Dear Alicia,
Thank you for letting me know my story touched you. In my world, these women abound, yet I never take them for granted. I appreciate you visiting and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
Well Doug, here I am, a woman of the world, but maybe not sufficiently, because I cant decide whether this is a story with a happy ending or a … shall we say frustrating? … one.
Either way, great stuff, very cleverly woven and proof that you’re an expert wordsmith. You mention 50 shades of fuchsia as an alternative title and I have to give my vote 100% to that change!
The other thing I wonder is about the colours of the dawn. That’s the only bit that seems to drop the momentum of the rest, and I’m wondering if there’s some other way you could use those lines to keep the tension up. Not that there’s anything wrong as they stand, you understand, just that those words have a little less value (to this reader) than the company they keep.
Keep those pulses racing…
Jen
Dear Jennifer,
I don’t know where to begin. This story was kind of like the storm cloud in the picture I added below the text, roiling in the reader’s mind as their imaginations take flight. I plead rhythm and pace and the way it sounded as it rolled off of my tongue. I’m sure in more capable hands or perhaps with more time, better words would have found their way to the page, but it will have to remain the way it is, like an image of a cloud made by lighting flashing for an instant….and then gone.
I appreciate the way you examine my work with such unblinking eye. Can’t thank you enough for your input each week.
Mahalo and Aloha,
Doug
There is no need to begin or to plead, Doug. The story is already everything as it stands, and you know I mean it no disrespect by my comments. I like the stormcloud analogy though – the same could be said of all our stories, indeed our lives at all!
J
A very sensual and stimulating piece, your use of words matches the content of your story well. A pleasurable and harmonious entry.
Dear Misskzebra,
And you comment was equally harmonious and appreciated. Thank you.
Aloha,
Doug
Subtle erotica, that was delicately delicious 🙂
Dear Helen,
Thank you. Nice to know the arrow came close to its mark.
Aloha,
Doug
Goodness! I need a trim myself. You captured the wandering, romantic mind so well, though I think Sandra captured something too, when she commented that the woman is in control, and knows it…so naive are we…! However, I think the two of them, the hairdresser and client, share a nice, innocent relationship.
Dear Mr. Indie,
Your perceptions match the reality that underpinned this story. Thank for reading and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
Eee by gum Doug!
Where’s the X-rated warning? I might have turned around at the door if only I’d have known. 🙂
Chris
Dear Chris,
The need for that warning exists only in your mind. My story was just about a little trim. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
A very evocative and entertaining story on different levels. I really loved the description of the woman.
Dear Maree,
Thanks for telling me what you liked and for stopping by to read. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.
Aloha,
Doug
I need a haircut.
I need a LOT of things right now after reading this!
Yikes!
Dear Kent,
Good luck with that haircut. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
A sensual scene very effectively shown through description, sensory details and very clever choice and use of a number of specific words.
Dear Diana,
Thank you so much for enjoying my story and for sharing your thoughts and impressions of it. I love it when the writing hits the target aimed for. The only way to tell for sure is to read comments from people like you who take the time to share their thoughts. I appreciate it very much.
Aloha,
Doug
Quite erotic, Doug! You have half the population here all charged up, and the other half grinning or going “hmmm …”
“Erect?” “press my tip into her warm hands?” “Come again?”
Really, Doug? Are we being blatantly subtle?
I LOVED your sensual descriptions, by the way.
Dear Vijaya,
Isn’t ‘blatantly subtle’ an oxymoron? If you think I was then I missed my mark. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I’ll keep trying.
Aloha,
Doug
Clever story Doug!
Dear Preeti,
Thank you very much.
Aloha,
Doug
Doug, I agree that the woman barber knew exactly what she was doing. So did the men who went there. I wonder if any of the wives ever caught on. Maybe some found out, and that was why she left town. Well written as usual. 🙂 —Susan
Dear Susan,
In the real world the wonderful haircutter simply was moving on. I think she had a hankering to turn as many pages as she could in her sensuous and centered life. But yes, she did know exactly what she was doing and never lacked for male customers.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
Great story! As others have mentioned, I found myself blushing at parts, but loved the description of the way her hair smelled. Gorgeous!
Dear Sarah,
Thank you very much for your kind words. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Aloha,
Doug
And I frown as I read this. You bad man.
Dear Patrick,
Laughing here. Thanks.
Aloha,
Doug
I hope you gave her directions to Fayetteville, Arkansas before she left the island. The gaping blouse definitely caught my attention.
Dear Russell,
I’m thinking her blouse was gaping only in your imagination, so, imagine that I gave her your address.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
Perhaps the double entendres were only in my head (although the comments suggest otherwise), but the erotic imagery jumped off the page here. The smells, the touch, the visuals… I was a bit swept away, I must admit.
Dear Dawn,
And I am swept away by your kind comments. Yes, each word was chosen with care to fit into a story that the reader would write after they’d read mine. I know that you understand what writing an exercise like this is all about and I appreciate that you took the time to tell me your thoughts.
Aloha,
Doug
Doug, I’m honored that my feedback can sweep you away. I do you understand what goes into this, and I love what you put into it!
Have a wonderful week,
Dawn
Dear Doug, This would leave any body panting for more. Amazing and it seems like a lot longer story than it is. Well written of course, but, why I’m blushing, Awesome story – You have what it takes to write for both sexes and just touching on the subject – ever so lightly – you arrive at success! Stellar! Nan 🙂
Dear Nan,
Thank you for such an uplifting comment. I read somewhere that a light touch is better. Don’t ever blush. Life’s way too short. You have to grab it with both hands and…
I appreciate you taking the time to tell me your thoughts. Input like yours keeps my inkwell full.
Aloha,
Doug
OMG..I love it! You had me laughing all the way through. You know I do love craft innuendo 🙂
Dear Dawn,
Thank you for dropping by to read and comment. I’m glad you enjoyed the story.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Doug
I loved this story with its many layers and subtle innuendo. Your stories never disappoint Doug and I look forward each week to see where you will take us.
Sorry for the late comment, must do better!
Take care
Dee
Dearest Dee,
Please never apologize for a comment’s arrival time. Anytime is a good time. They are gifts, after all, from one writer to another. I am glad that you visited and read and the richer for your kind comment.
I am the one who should be apologizing. Our Hurricanes, semi-fizzles though they were, took up so much energy that I am still late for last week.
Aloha,
Doug