100 word story for Madison Woods’ FridayFictioneers. (Went long this time. Been good for a few weeks so I’m taking liberty. Apologies. Subject’s worth it. Thanks.) Photo prompt is below. Check out other stories here http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/old-truck-100-words/ Leave comments and links to your 100 word story. Aloha, D.
For Sale: ‘61’ Chevrolet Apache. Only owner (my brother) killed in May of ‘69’. Operation Apache Snow. Pure coincidence, the name and all, but was seen by our father as some kind of sign. Parked and never driven again. Low mileage. Needs some work. $100 OBO. Discount to veterans. 989-7465.
Note: Dad’s gone now and any ghosts with him. Buyer will need to tow vehicle. Keys left at the Wall. (http://photo2.si.edu/offerings/offerings.html)
I didn’t need that truck any more than we needed that goddamned hill back in the day. We bled dear for every yard and the brass gave it away fifteen days after we took it. Fuck it, I thought, don’t mean nothing. Then I picked up the phone and dialed.
ironwoodwind 
Interesting story. Not a style I’d ever likely use, but it works. I guess that’s what makes you unique from me.
And the addition of links; that’s not something you see every day. But I read once that that’s an actual style of fiction just itself.
The links are kind of there for the reader to explore the origins of the story and what some of the lines refer too. Leaving the keys at the Wall would have had to have been explained to many, but to a veteran of that war, they would be a clear message of a brother’s love.
Thanks for commenting and putting up with the extra length and links.
Aloha,
Doug
Gotcha. Might have to read again for clarity.
Thanks.
I enjoyed this, in so much as anyone can enjoy touching on such a painful subject. The presentation was very original, and a really good, thought-provoking take on the prompt, Doug. Well done.
Mine’s at http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/i-met-this-guy-friday-fictioneers-30-march-2012/
Dear Sandra,
Thanks for such a nice comment. i was in the middle of a different presentation of the same story when the wording of the For Sale ad came to me. I took off writing and this story is one of the ones I’m more pleased with than not. Nice when something springs to life at the last minute.
Aloha,
Doug
The veteran’s voice at the end was hard. You told this so well. Nice work! (ps: I just read someone’s story who sold the truck for $100 and the buyer ended up framed for a murder. I read how much this truck was sold for and got real nervous.)
I think even though you’ve read mine, I’m still supposed to put my link up. Here it is: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/03/28/state-pride/
Thanks for reading and commenting. Yes, that would be Sandra. She’s got a good eye for used cars and a bad eye for trouble. Link away, girl. I’ve read yours. Trying to keep up this week, unlike the previous seven days.
Aloha,
Doug
Doug. This story is just amazing. The links are VERY appropriate. But if you want to know how I did it last? week (was it?)
For example: highlight the phrase ‘that goddamn hill’ and click on the button in editing that looks like a chain (it will be a way to “hyperlink” or make the phrase a clickable link.) Then: The NAME of the link will be ‘that goddamn hill’ and the address will be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Hamburger_Hill
If you ever want to know anything about WordPress or anything else, feel free to drop me a line!
I loved the format of this story so much! And the history…
Dear Rinn,
You just saved me a ton of work training myself how to use hyperlinks. Thank you so much.
This story and it’s For Sale ad format came together at the last minute and I had to get it onto the digital paper before it was lost. i’m still excited that it worked out (for me) so well.
I read your story and commented, but i’ll repeat myself so others will make sure to visit you. I loved it and think it will stand the test of time. You’re in the running for Carlos’ Cup.
Aloha,
Doug
Any time, Doug! These little tricks in wordpress are things I had to figure out on my own. I’m more than willing to share what I’ve learned.
It truly worked out brilliantly!
What exactly is the “Carlos’ Cup?”
Oh, and here is my link: https://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/for-a-moment-sam/
I went to your story first, for some reason, Doug. I knew you’d have something good for this pic, and I wasn’t disappointed. Very poignant.
Mine’s at http://wp.me/p1WuR1-Qn.
Dear Caerlynn,
I’m flattered and headed your way right this instant.
Aloha,
Doug
I agree with Caerlynn. Very poignant story. I loved it.
Here’s mine:
http://sarahthestoryteller.wordpress.com
Thanks Sarah,
I loved Rain of Fire. Right on the mark with that one.
Aloha,
Doug
A great departure of style; I really like your willingness to experiment. The hyperlinks were a very interesting facet and not the first time you’ve sent us off on fact-finding expeditions. It makes for a different concept of pace, much more like the internet experience itself of fragmented knowledge, a collage instead of a linear story. I know there are books like this somewhere, but I think it’s just the very beginning for this style. You’re on the cutting edge, Doug!
Dear Carlos,
Once again you give me more credit than I deserve. (But I like it:) Rinn out of QuillShiv gave me a tutorial for better looking hyperlinks so I might edit. I was just trying to give links to answer questions my story floated. Save me and you dear readers work, eh?
Thanks for visiting. Now you’re making me hunt for your link, right? Don’t worry, I’ll find it.
Aloha,
Doug
I love how you did this Doug! 2 POV’s that complimented each other; the use of links was a nice touch; and in both parts the same theme of support for soldiers. Awesome job!
Dear Jeannie,
You’re kind to comment so positively. Thanks so much for taking the time.
Can’t support our soldiers enough. Though I was way underwater during that whole shooting match, I still have a soft spot in my heart for those who were in the heart of the arena.
Aloha,
Doug
but you see, you have an insight that many don’t 🙂
Visceral. That is all.
Dear Craig,
Mahalo nui, friend, mahalo nui.
Aloha,
Doug
I enjoyed this. Love the way your story oscillates between the narrator and other characters. And the way you made the car the central character of the write up.
The while setup has a haunting feel to it.. as always, a very good take on the prompt.
Here’s my attempt-
Thanks Parul,
This one seemed stored up and ready to rock and roll the minute I saw the prompt. They say old people remember the distant past better than the recent past. Must be getting old.
Aloha,
Doug
I like how you used the conceit of a for sale ad to tell your story. Original and effecting. Mine’s here: http://furiousfictions.com
Thanks Joe,
I enjoyed yours as well. Still wondering if your protagonist is based on your life. Fess up one day.
Aloha,
Doug
Oh, wow, oh, wow. That was so wonderful. Thank you.
Here’s mine: http://unspywriter.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/friday-fictioneers-yay/
Dear Maggie,
Same goes for your story. I had a friend go that way and I still feel it in my heart.
Aloha,
Doug
You’re the only one who figured it out. And it never leaves; it’s my constant companion.
Dear Doug,
You made the hair stand up in my ears and sent a tingle down my spine. I can relate to the connection between a man and his vehicle.
I too recognized the pick-up as an Apache, although my take (as you might imagine) is a little different. 🙂
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Dear Russell,
You recognized that truck? Damn, you must be ol….um, er, you must be an expert with Google Image search like me. Loved your story, too.
Aloha,
Doug
Real, insightful, genuine…I so appreciate the matter-of-factness of your work – I think it is extremely effective. I really enjoy following your work.
My link: http://wp.me/p1aAEA-ta
Kris
Thank you Kris,
Kind of you to comment and say so. I don’t think I could write florid if I tried. (Hey, there’s an idea!) (Not.)
Aloha,
Doug
Hi D,
what a different approach! I don’t think I would’ve pulled it off, but you did. Good read (I sometimes feel like I can’t say much more than I have in your previous stories).
Here’s mine, wp.me/puGD7-GF
Love,
Cae
Dear Cae,
You have a permanent pass from me. Don’t feel the need to say anything. Just knowing you’re there, reading, is enough for me.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear D,
I feel like writing something always. I want to you to know for sure I’m actually there 🙂
Love,
Cae
That was beautifully done and so full of honor, compassion, and duty. Nicely written, Doug. Made tears come to my eyes with it’s rough sweetness.
Here’s mine, not nearly as poignant:
http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/03/his-old-chevy-100words-for.html
Dear Siobhan,
That’s one of the nicest comments I’ve ever gotten. Thanks. I’ll continue to try to live up to it.
As Madison would say, ‘headed your way now!’
Aloha,
Doug
Nice use of the prompt! The truck has become a symbol for so many different stories today. It made me wonder who the person is that dials and if the truck had been his to begin with?
Forgot my link- http://susielindau.com/2012/03/30/for-your-viewing-pleasure-flash-fiction-friday/
AWESOME–and I use that word sparingly!! I’m about 2/3 through the stories and there have been some really fantastic ones. So far this is my #1 favorite. You do consistently fine work–I always enjoy reading your posts. Do you have any published novels?–I’d love to get my hands on them.
I loved how you framed your story Doug, and I visited the links to see what they keys at the wall was all about. I’ve touched the wall itself before but didn’t understand the tokens and trinkets were part of the plan.
Dear Madison,
Said it before and will again, this FridayFictioneers has been a godsend for me. Draws things out, pushes, challenges me to write and write well.
Thanks.
For this, for commenting, for being.
aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug. If I’ve managed to do anything meaningful for anyone with my efforts, I’m grateful. That part of the equation is very important to me.
I didn’t write this week but had to see what you wrote this week. I’m glad I did…this was masterful. And, it brought a tear to my eye. (Did you see my comment on last week’s work? I posted it in the wrong place and don’t know if you noticed….)
See you next week.
~Susan
Dear Susan,
Mahalo for visiting my contribution to this Friday. If, indeed, it made you tear up, well, that’s all I could ever ask for from my writing. I appreciate you saying that.
I’ll be going back to last week to see if I missed anything from you. The past ten days or so has been hectic and hard so I probably did. Apologies in advance.
Aloha,
Doug
Once again, Doug, you give us history along with a story of your own. I loved the format of starting with the unusual advertisement too. Perfect. The attitude of the second character is so fined tuned, and the advert give us so much flavour.
I’m over here: http://wp.me/p1PeVl-69
Hey you!
Good to hear from you. This one jumped out of my mind and onto the page. Strangely enough, I was just looking for a time and a place of death for the brother when I stumbled across the name Operation Apache Snow which was used for one of the penultimate battles of that ‘Police Action’. Pure coincidence, I thought and then everything fell into place. Title, for sale ad, forlorn father, grieving brother and aging veteran of the same battle that claimed the brother. All the circles came full turn in my head.
Thanks for leaving such a nice comment. I appreciate it, especially coming from your capable hands.
Aloha,
Doug
A unique style and in my opinion you carried it off well. 🙂
Here is the link to mine:
Cheers!
Dear Irene,
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I just finished reading your story and found it to be an original take on the prompt.
Aloha,
Doug
Doug, my friend! Wow. Great story. I’ve been to the Wall and I have to say there isn’t another spot in the world quite like it. Even though it’s surrounded by open air it feels like you’re stepping into a vacuum devoid of sound or movement. I was scanning the wall and happened upon a John Hardy Bell. Truly one of the most surreal and poignant moments of my life. It happened over twenty years ago, but I can remember the emotions as if they occurred yesterday! The Wall place EVERYONE should visit. Thanks for bringing back that memory!
Dear John,
That must have been a strange and somewhat eerie sight. Kind of brings home the debt we all have. Some won’t ever acknowledge it, but it there. I have yet to visit that wall but when I do I’ll probably get lost in it for a day or two. I was drafted in 72 and joined the navy, the theory being that there were no submarines in rice paddies. i was right, but till learned a lot. Enough to know I owe those better than I who gave their lives because their country called.
Thanks for stopping in. Don’t be a stranger, okay? Your writing is a treat for all of us.
Aloha,
Doug
Excellent post, Doug. Interesting format with the ad. Thanks for the links, a sorry time for sure.
http://tedstrutz.com/2012/03/30/flash-fridayfictioneers-lost-opportunity/
Dear Ted,
Thanks for your comments. Wish I could have figured out how to get WordPress to let me format a border around the ‘ad copy’. Oh, well. more to look forward to learning.
Aloha,
Doug
Hey Doug…
Yes, it’s easier to compose with Blogspot, but there so are many more people on WP. And Blogspot can be a royal pain. I have moved a Blogspot post to WP, but sometimes they get screwed up. I always post my story on both. This time I did it on WP and moved it to B, and did a little fixing up, Here is the link to Blogspot’s TedBook, if you would like to compare.
http://tedinfridayharbor.blogspot.com/
Peace, Brother!
Thank you sir,
I’ll be sure to check out both formats. I’ve been thinking about moving all my old posts from Blogspot over to WordPress. It will just be cut and paste for me. No bells, buttons, whistles or decals. What makes me crazy about Blogspot is all the hoops they require a commenter to jump through in order to leave a comment. Makes me absolutely crazy. Don’t they get it? When I see that I am trying to comment in a Blogspot blog I get really discouraged. Wish everyone would dump Blogspot. Here endeth my rant for the day.
Aloha,
Doug
Great story! I enjoyed it very much. I also read the story about the man who bought a truck $100 and was framed for murder before I read yours. I did a double take when I saw the price even though I was fairly certain there was no connection.
Hi Brandon,
Thanks. hard to ask more than $100, right. Either that or have the owner pay you to get rid of it.
Aloha,
Doug
Very raw. Very primitive. Not the writing, of course, but the feeling that one gets by sensing the pain and hurt and anger usually associated with a heavy loss. I got the distinct feeling that the narrator would not allow this ruddy old truck to suffer a similar fate as his brother. I’d say he takes the sign down and decides to leave the truck right where it is, out of necessity. Except the last sentence tosses me over my handlebars. Excellent post. I enjoyed seeing that fusion of love/hate play out in the narrator’s words.
Thanks for your comments on my entry!
Thanks for your detailed comments. I live and die by them and certainly appreciate the time it took to set them to paper. I’ll try to pay you back in kind. Looking forward to reading more of your work in the future.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Doug: What can I say that hasn’t already been said. Truly a masterpiece. Thank you. I’ve not been to the Wall but thank you for reminding me that I need to go. My heart weeps for our brave men and women who have sacrificed and continue to sacrifice their lives. There is no comparison of course, but I live in a tall hi-rise in NYC and from my terrace, I watched the Twin Towers go down on that dreadful day. That memorial is almost complete and will be chilling as well, I’m sure. You were the first to post a comment to my story. Thank you.
Dear Lora,
Thanks for your comments and heartfelt emotions expressed so freely. We all have a debt that can never be repaid but through remembrance and more than a little effort to keep the politicians from going to war too easily.
I watched the towers fall on television after getting a call from my son who was in Florida at the time, just beginning his career in the navy. He’s since spent over ten years overseas in Iraq, Afghanistan and Somalia working secret squirrel squadron projects. Currently home after too long in the arena.
From your terrace you can look across to New Jersey where I grew up. Watched the towers being built from Sandy Hook State Park.
Aloha,
Doug
Hi Doug,
This is rich for me in two ways: I finished from a military secondary school and am forever endeared to the principles and ethics of the gentle men and officers…we were regaled with tales of our forces trials & triumphs on the peace keeping tour of Africa…and that impressed on our young impressionable minds eternal respect for the armed forces
Secondly, I am a graduate of History and International Relations but this war was conspicuously missing from our syllabus…I am gonna read it up now…Thanks for making this a bank of knowledge. Well done.
-Charles
Dear Charles,
Maybe find it under “Police Actions.’
Thanks for your comments and background. I wish that the old men that start the wars would also have to fight them. But that is not the way of the world and I know it, as do you now.
If you would really like to read one of the best books ever to come from that war (and there were many) find a copy of The Thirteenth Valley by John M. Delvechio.
Aloha,
Doug
Good writing is powerful and this story was powerful. So many emotions conveyed in so few words and the links were perfect. I don’t know these people and after reading this I want that truck.
Dear Michael,
Thanks for a great comment/compliment. I live or die by them so I appreciate yours very much. How’d you track me down and do you have a link to your blog?
Aloha,
Doug
Doug,
You are a great writer. You can change your style and do it with ease. When I get some time I will go through your blog. I really enjoy your work.
Here is my take on it…http://blog.tompoet.com/?p=176
Thanks Tom,
Take your time visiting. Loved your story.
Aloha,
Doug
This is beautifully done. I’m in awe at how much you’ve accomplished here in so few words, the emotions, the story.
Here’s mine: http://teschoenborn.com/2012/03/30/friday-fictioneer-4/
Thanks so much, my friend,
Sometimes it works, others, not so much. This was a better one.
Aloha,
Doug
I really can’t add to what has already been said. This was a very unique take on the prompt – which really caught a lot of personal feelings. You expressed yours very well and I don’t know if the hyperlink idea is really a good thing in this case. Your story stands on its own, and everyone will know it is about some battle or other and all battles are awful. I think it is good to have the explanatory link at the end, so folks can explore it and the link doesn’t intefere with the art of your writing.
So there!
Laura
Hey you!
Thanks for your thoughts and comments. I will smooth out the hyperlink experience thanks to Rinn over at QuillShiv and must admit in part to being lazy. I didn’t want to have to explain to anyone the part about leaving the keys at the Wall. Better next time. Get well, kay?
Aloha,
Doug
I like that you were able to incorporate advertising in there. That’s definitely something I haven’t thought about including in one of these prompts – makes me want to start experimenting with form!
Dear Stacey,
I was in the middle of a standard submission when the inspiration came. Want ads or For Sale ads fit the format so well. Short, terse, info rich blurbs often written by people in distress, economic or otherwise. I realized one would be perfect for this story and took off running.
Thanks for reading and commenting. Glad you liked Pure Coincidence. Looking forward to reading the results of your experimentation.
Aloha,
Doug
Nicely done. So touching. Former Marine wife here, so these kind of stories always strike a tender chord. Thank you. I think the hyperlink idea will help with the story flow and I did have to read it twice. Perhaps putting the For Sale ad in a different font would have helped. But wonderful read nonetheless. Thanks again. You already read mine but here’s my like for those who didnt yet. http://ajaroffireflies.blogspot.com/2012/03/friday-fictioneers.html
Thanks for commenting, Stacy,
I had the ad formatted with a border in MS Word but it didn’t survive the cut and paste job to WordPress and I’m such a novice at WordPress thatI couldn’t sort it out until too late. Thanks for noting that, though. Rinn of QuillShiv showed me the way on hyperlinks so that will be smoothed out if I ever need them again. Headed off to visit the link your left.
Aloha,
Doug
Very, very powerful, Doug. Such emotion and lots of story expressed in so few words. Beautiful.
Jan
Thank you Jan,
Good practice. This exercise is stretching my skinny brain.
Aloha,
Doug
Doug,
Loved your story.
I read your author page. If I ever get to Hawaii, I will look you up. You’re just too interesting of a person to pass up.
Aloha ya’ll.
Ruth
Thanks Ruth,
I’ll keep the lights on.
Aloha,
Doug
What a unique writing perspective and beautifully done. I had to read it twice. Really enjoyed the incorporation of the ad, mention of the Wall, and the two POV’s. Well done.
I, too, am a softy for our veterans. Please thank your son for his service.
You’ve read mine but for others: http://www.banterwithbeth.blogspot.com
Dear Beth,
Thank you for commenting in the positive and I will tell my son you said thanks. He’s one of many down to earth souls this country is lucky to have doing their jobs in these trying times. I wish the government that they work for would do less policing and more defending. But I guess that’s a subject for another post. I appreciate your stopping in and reading very much.
Aloha,
Doug
Wow. I loved it. Bravo on attempting a creative format with the story and succeeding wonderfully. Together with the fact that it really means something on an emotional and historical level makes this one of the best stories of this length I’ve read in a long time. (And I read a ton of microficton!)
Thank you for sharing.
Dear Robert,
Thank you for your kind comments. I am especially gratified to hear how much micro or flash fiction you’ve read because it helps to put your comment in context. I got lucky in a lot of ways for this submission, from a sudden brainstorm re the For Sale ad format to the Army’s name for the battle of Hamburger Hill, to the make and model of that truck in the prompt. I do love it when a plan comes together.
I’m looking forward to reading more of your work each Friday. Will you be joining us regularly? I hope so.
Aloha,
Doug
Doug,
Fantastic. As the child of a Vietnam veteran (and granddaughter of a WWII vet, and great-granddaughter of a WWI vet, and on and on), I sincerely appreciate this tale. It’s poignant and reveals a deep core of strength and honor in your character. Thank you for sharing.
Dear Cara,
Your comment means more to me than I can adequately say, especially as it comes from the most recent incarnation of a long line of honorable people. Your heritage must be one that makes you proud as well as stiffens your spine when the going gets tough. Thank you for reading and taking the time to let me know what you thought.
Aloha,
Doug
No pun intended, you chose a great vehicle to get your story across in a completely original way. Great job.
Here’s mine: http://wp.me/p1Tjpv-9G
Exploring sadness and the bond between veterans, something I never would’ve dreamed up from that simple picture. A very unique take on the prompt, well done.
Dear Gary,
I got lucky on this one. Thanks for reading and commenting. I loved your story, Out of Gas. See you in four days!
Aloha,
Doug