The Dog House

14 Jan

100 words for Friday Fictioneers based on the photo prompt below from Jan Wayne Fields.

 

Dining Room

(Copyright Jan Wayne Fields)

 

“What are you in for?” asked the old-timer.

“Disappointed my wife,” replied the new guy.

“Rough.”

“Failure to live up to expectations, failure to change and failure to be her first choice for a husband.”

“Rough again. How long you in for?”

“Life.”

“Double rough.”

“No, that part’s not that…”

“Rough.”

“I’ve got a roof over my head, some good company and best of all, she’s not talking to me.”

“Good point.”

“What’s your crime, buddy?”

“Humping your mother-in-law’s leg every time she visits.”

“Good boy.”

 

 

 

 

dog-humping-leg

69 Responses to “The Dog House”

  1. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) January 14, 2015 at 10:08 am #

    Ha.. love that twist at the end.. Sounds like a good deal though instead of being neutered, which would really have solved the problem.. but that would still include the talking wouldn’t it?

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 2:48 pm #

      Dear Bjorn,

      I’m not sure if there is a figurative or actual neutering in the works for our hero. We shall see what the future holds. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      And sorry I’m so late to reply. Playing catch up now.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  2. MrBinks January 14, 2015 at 10:10 am #

    This made me smile 🙂

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 2:53 pm #

      Dear Mr. Binks,

      Thank you for sharing.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  3. rochellewisoff January 14, 2015 at 11:46 am #

    Dear Doug,

    Some days are decidedly rougher than others. You made me laugh. You made me think. You made me laugh again. Good boy.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    PS VasILY-with-a-space says hello.

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:00 pm #

      Dear Rochelle,

      Tell Vasya hello from the canine castle. I’m learning yodeling.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  4. Suzanne Joshi January 14, 2015 at 12:55 pm #

    Good story Doug. The story is funny and I figured it out, I’m just wondering where you got the end photo. Good twist at the end of the story. 🙂 — Suzanne

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:02 pm #

      Dear Suzanne,

      I’m glad that you got the story. I hate to write hard to get fiction. Thank you for reading and commenting and I’m sorry that I took so long to reply.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  5. Miss Nifty January 14, 2015 at 1:21 pm #

    I wonder how you got this from the picture of a man standing: but very creative and funny!

    • dmmacilroy January 14, 2015 at 2:07 pm #

      Dear Miss N,

      I recently participated in a dinner party whose table was set in much the same fashion as in the picture. During dinner I disappointed someone and found myself in the dog house. Was thinking along those lines when I wrote this story.

      Aloha,

      Doug

      • Miss Nifty January 14, 2015 at 3:26 pm #

        Ah.that’ll do it

      • Ellespeth January 16, 2015 at 5:14 am #

        Hahaha! It’s always those fancy china dinner parties, too.
        Ellespeth

  6. Sandra January 14, 2015 at 1:25 pm #

    Well, judging from your lower picture Doug, the mother-in-law is either a bit of a go-er, or the dog’s doctored her drink. In the nicest possible way. Thanks for starting my day with a smile. Rough-rough…

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:12 pm #

      Dear Sandra,

      Finally getting round to replying to comments. Sorry to take so long. Thanks for making me laugh in turn re your thoughts about the dog and his possibly resourceful method of procuring a leg to.. well… spend Wednesday with. I appreciate your wry and ready humor.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  7. sustainabilitea January 14, 2015 at 1:32 pm #

    Being in the dog house is ruff, isn’t it? 🙂

    janet

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:14 pm #

      Dear Janet,

      I don’t mean to whine, but, yes, it is. Thanks for dropping by.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  8. Michael B. Fishman January 14, 2015 at 1:47 pm #

    While I’m not one to condone certain behaviors in public, but if that’s the mother-in-law then I can’t blame him. A fun story!

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:15 pm #

      Dear Michael,

      Nor do I, my friend. Nor do I.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  9. Snow's Fissures and Fractures January 14, 2015 at 1:55 pm #

    Hahaha, loved it. I had a female dog who tried to jump me few times, but I managed to deal with that without a dog house. Disappointing husbands…that’s another story. 😛

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:18 pm #

      Dear Lore,

      Thanks for reading and commenting. Sorry to get back to you so late. Editing is a demanding taskmaster. Disappointing husbands is an all too common thing, I’m afraid. Men better get their acts together.

      Aloha,

      Doug

      • Snow's Fissures and Fractures January 22, 2015 at 7:30 pm #

        I wouldn’t be that harsh. I still think there are two sides to every coin. One would think years makes us smarter, but I refuse to give up hope.

  10. storydivamg January 14, 2015 at 2:24 pm #

    Dear Doug,
    If one must be in the doghouse, one can at least take comfort in the company. Fun tale, skillfully told.
    All my best,
    Marie Gail

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:19 pm #

      Dear Marie,

      Thanks for the compliment. I appreciate it. Take pleasure in the company and don’t mind the fleas, right.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  11. elmowrites January 14, 2015 at 2:25 pm #

    🙂 Subtle, clever, and building to a conclusions which (once you get it) becomes inevitable. All signs of the best kind of twist in the tale story.
    Nice one, Doug!

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:21 pm #

      Dear Jennifer,

      Thanks for your glowing comments. i’m glad to hear you enjoyed my story. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  12. aliciajamtaas January 14, 2015 at 2:35 pm #

    Lovely twist that brought an early A.M. smile. Thanks, Doug. (Crazy picture at the end – brought on another grin>)

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:23 pm #

      Dear Alicia,

      Happy to help in the laughter department. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  13. Allan G. Smorra January 14, 2015 at 4:50 pm #

    Nice twist at the end & great start to my day.
    Thanks,
    Allan

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:24 pm #

      Dear Allan,

      Thanks for reading and laughing. I’m still in the doghouse.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  14. Helena Hann-Basquiat January 14, 2015 at 4:57 pm #

    WOW… phonetic clues! Darling, you are an excellent writer! The twist of the figurative “dog house” and the literal was brilliant. Loved this one. It’s simple, cheeky, but perfectly constructed. Well done.

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:27 pm #

      Dear Helena,

      You are generous with your praise. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment and I apologize for taking so long to reply to you. I was editing and on a deadline and disciplined. Only the last part was fun.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  15. rogershipp January 14, 2015 at 5:07 pm #

    Clever twist. Enjoyed it. You always find something unique.

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:29 pm #

      Dear Roger,

      Thank you for saying so. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  16. Claire Fuller January 14, 2015 at 5:51 pm #

    Hah – this made me laugh. I had to go back and read it all again, this time spelling ‘rough’ as ‘ruff’ in my head. Wonderful stuff Doug.

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:35 pm #

      Dear Claire,

      Once you hear it as ‘ruff’ it take on a whole new meaning. I swear that my dog is trying to talk sometimes. Thanks for reading and commenting. My apologies for taking so long to get back to you. Editing a friend’s novel. Had to stay focused. Now playing catch up.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  17. Priceless Joy January 14, 2015 at 10:47 pm #

    Loved the story! 😀 haha!

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:36 pm #

      Dear PJ,

      Thank you very much.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  18. high five and raspberries January 15, 2015 at 12:01 am #

    Doug! Thanks for this laugh out loud story. Written on hump day no less 🙂

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:38 pm #

      Dear Patricia.

      Only an astute observer wold notice that. Very well done. Thanks for dropping by. My apologies fro being so tardy with my reply. Editing focus. I know you will understand.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  19. David Stewart January 15, 2015 at 2:51 am #

    That’s awesome, Doug. I should have caught on with the title and the word “rough” repeated, but still, you got me. 🙂 Great story. Man’s best friend, definitely.
    -David

    • dmmacilroy January 22, 2015 at 3:41 pm #

      Dear David,

      Thanks for such a nice comment/compliment. i appreciate it. Cold here in the dog house.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  20. i b arora January 15, 2015 at 3:59 am #

    nice dog house

  21. plaridel January 15, 2015 at 7:37 am #

    loved this dog story. 😊.

  22. draliman January 15, 2015 at 8:45 am #

    Thanks for the smile this wet and windy Thursday morning! Great story.

  23. patrickprinsloo January 15, 2015 at 11:33 am #

    Ha! This takes the biscuit!

  24. Indira January 15, 2015 at 11:43 am #

    Very funny. It seems they don’t regret it . Nicely written.

  25. BrainRants January 15, 2015 at 3:43 pm #

    Great twist. I didn’t catch on until the last two lines.

  26. adamjasonp January 15, 2015 at 5:40 pm #

    You even had a classy-cute photo to go along with the ending! 🙂  As if it’s normal…it kind of is typical of some dogs.

  27. Caerlynn Nash January 15, 2015 at 5:54 pm #

    Ruff! Rough! Boys in the dog house. When will you ever learn? 😉

  28. Lisa Yow-Williams January 15, 2015 at 9:16 pm #

    No one likes a humper. Cute story!

  29. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist January 15, 2015 at 9:21 pm #

    Clever, funny with nice twist at the end.

  30. Margaret January 15, 2015 at 10:07 pm #

    So funny. Man and dog are good company for each other in your dog house. Wonderful dialogue.

  31. Perry Block (@PerryBlock) January 15, 2015 at 11:04 pm #

    Very, very funny! Now that’s really some dog house. I hope the Mother-in-law’s leg was worth it.

  32. The Writer's Village January 16, 2015 at 12:44 am #

    Well, okay, in a bizarre humpy kind of way.
    Especially if you’re into mother-in-law’s, you rascally dawg.
    Randy

  33. waitingforaname January 16, 2015 at 1:38 am #

    Thanks for the smile! I was picturing two guys sitting in a bar, commiserating married life… up till that last line.

  34. wildbilbo January 16, 2015 at 3:01 am #

    People at work are looking at me and wondering why I’m laughing.
    This was great (Rough/ruff was gold).
    Cheers
    KT

  35. Ellespeth January 16, 2015 at 5:27 am #

    Hi Doug ~
    Well… man’s best friend, eh? Those two deserve to be in the dog house together. I’m still laughing.
    Sad though, too, is this part: “Failure to live up to expectations, failure to change and failure to be her first choice for a husband.” Has me thinking.
    Ellespeth

    • Ellespeth January 16, 2015 at 5:44 am #

      Third reading, Doug, and I’m thinking about ‘payoffs’…
      Ellespeth

  36. Nicole January 16, 2015 at 12:10 pm #

    wickedly funny!

  37. rgayer55 January 16, 2015 at 5:14 pm #

    I would say that dog deserves a treat. I’ll never forget that line in one of those National Lampoon Vacation movies where Randy Quaid says (about the big dog), “If he starts humping your leg, Clark, the best thing to do is just let him finish.”

  38. Sarah Ann January 16, 2015 at 8:29 pm #

    Wonderful voices with a great sense of resignation, before your clever twist. Very enjoyable.

  39. erinleary January 16, 2015 at 11:19 pm #

    For some people, the dog house perpetual state. I enjoyed your litany of crimes…seems like a shared theme with mine this week.

  40. emmylgant January 17, 2015 at 5:27 pm #

    Very funny voice from a dirty dawg!
    And the rough-ruff ( or woof, as they say here) is terriffic as both clue and device to move the story along.

  41. Amy Reese January 17, 2015 at 7:55 pm #

    Ha ha! I thought they were criminals at first. Nice one, Doug. I enjoyed your back and forth dialogue. Some have a dog house, some a man cave. I went to a ritzy party once. You should have seen this guy’s “dog house.” It had a bar, huge flat screen TV, pool side. It was quite nice. I take it this one isn’t. 🙂

  42. talesfromthemotherland January 18, 2015 at 6:27 pm #

    Knowing your clever twists, I got this one, but the ride was just as fun and… well, clever. 😉 In the 2nd to last line, should it be “humping MY mother in law’s leg?” That threw me off a bit. But then, I take these dogs so seriously. 🙂 Fun story this week; you had me smiling the whole way.

  43. Riya Anne Polcastro January 18, 2015 at 6:47 pm #

    Nice take on the prompt! Thanks for the laugh.

  44. Nan Falkner January 20, 2015 at 2:45 am #

    My goodness, this is so flippin’ funny! You are so clever Doug! You have a nifty sense of humor! Nan 🙂

  45. Dee January 20, 2015 at 3:30 pm #

    Dear Doug

    Very subtle and very cleverly done. I love your stories you always manage to see something others miss and take us down a different road with your great use of language and in this case humour too.

    Well done

    Dee

  46. Judith StClaire January 22, 2015 at 1:53 pm #

    Fun to read and contemplate. Ellie liked it, too
    Rough.

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