Joint Venture

16 Jul

100 words for Friday Fictioneers, an organization of writers (Est. by Madison Woods in 2011) whose current CEO is Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The mission statement of FF members is to write a flash fiction piece based on the photo prompt below, to be audited by their associates.

 

Joint Venture

Copyright Adam Ickes

 

 

“Physical inventory?” I texted.

“Yes.” my partner replied.

I thought about the changes I’d demanded. He preferred vertical analysis of inflation rate and dividends in arrears with the ultimate goal of immediate liquidation. I wanted a horizontal analysis with emphasis on non-routine transactions, double entry bookkeeping and asset manipulation and had had enough of staring at last year’s invoices because he liked a specific installment method. The intent was a friendly merger, not a split offering.

At the storeroom door I query him.

“Couch?”

“Installed.”

“Ram?”

“Pawn shop.”

“Then let’s get to work.”

 

 

 

Sign

 

 

43 Responses to “Joint Venture”

  1. Sandra July 16, 2014 at 1:34 pm #

    You’re quite mad, you know that? But I like my friends that way… So good to have you around.

    • dmmacilroy July 16, 2014 at 1:37 pm #

      Dear Sandra,

      Thanks for the rain in the desert. I was beginning to wonder whether I’d overstayed my welcome.

      Aloha,

      Doug

      • Sandra July 16, 2014 at 1:41 pm #

        🙂 Never. Ever.

  2. patriciaruthsusan July 16, 2014 at 1:35 pm #

    Doug, They seemed to have worked out their differences concerning the couch and the ram at least. 🙂 Well-written as usual. The notice at the end was great. 🙂 —Susan

    • dmmacilroy July 16, 2014 at 1:39 pm #

      Dear Susan,

      One (or two) must observe the proprieties, right? Thanks for knocking.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  3. rochellewisoff July 16, 2014 at 1:53 pm #

    Dear Doug,

    This is a capital bit of tabulation and intercommunication. You’re without equal when it comes to storing treasures and putting a tale to bed. You took my breath away and made me smile.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    YKWIMILY

    • dmmacilroy July 16, 2014 at 1:57 pm #

      Dear Rochelle,

      Your comment has me smiling. A tale by any other spelling, would be as sweet.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  4. wmqcolby July 16, 2014 at 2:00 pm #

    Reminds me of one co-worker I had. She was an attractive girl with good
    reputation who could fry frog
    legs; who can stand a little fu-
    ture fun at parties and froli-
    cking without getting sick.

    • dmmacilroy July 16, 2014 at 2:12 pm #

      Dear Kent,

      Did you propose? She sounds like a keeper.

      Aloha,

      Doug

      • wmqcolby July 16, 2014 at 6:30 pm #

        Hahahaha! She was in “every other line” of work, you might say.

  5. storydivamg July 16, 2014 at 3:46 pm #

    Dear Doug,
    This brought back too many memories of long nights counting every marble and adjustable ring in the back store room. 🙂 And of long days counseling idiots who refused to do inventory before attempting to do their taxes. Sounds as though your characters have a bit more sense–at least they know when it’s time to bite the bullet.

    A neatly woven tale. Nice work.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

    • dmmacilroy July 16, 2014 at 4:43 pm #

      Dear Marie,

      I think I may have been too obtuse. These two individuals have more than work on their agendas and she was just making sure her priorities received equal attention before they had at it.

      Aloha,

      Doug

      • storydivamg July 16, 2014 at 8:13 pm #

        I have been accused of being desperately naive at times. Oops! Thanks for clarifying.

        Cheers!
        MG

  6. elmowrites July 16, 2014 at 4:02 pm #

    Doug, I think I’m being a little slow today, but my first reaction is an eloquent, “Huh?”
    7/?:)
    YUyu
    88

    • dmmacilroy July 16, 2014 at 4:41 pm #

      Dear Jennifer,

      They are engaged in….oh, never mind…maybe read the tags. To some this is always just going to be two business minded individuals working hard….to others, well, you have to read between the lines.

      Aloha,

      Doug

      • elmowrites July 16, 2014 at 6:49 pm #

        You might have guessed… That comment was meant to be considerably longer but got interupted by a small boy! Anyway, personal preferences aside, I’m still left wondering whether the ram has gone to or come from the pawn store. Also, i think there are a couple of grammar issues – capitals on second speech attribution and the change of tense atter the long paragraph (although i can sort of justify that, it didn’t sit well).
        aside from that, clever as always, although you’ll have to work hard to beat last week’s!

  7. Helena Hann-Basquiat July 16, 2014 at 4:59 pm #

    Loved the description of each partner’s fastidious preferences, setting up in the reader’s mind a complicated workload, only to find with your ending, a very uncluttered solution.

  8. Artfully Adelie July 16, 2014 at 5:14 pm #

    Doug, I loved this! My first reading, I took it at *innocent* face value and was about to tell you how I could relate to the drudgery of inventory. I’m so glad I read the other comments first and gave it another read through a totally different lens. I thoroughly enjoyed the second reading. Very witty use of the double entendre. Though, asset manipulation isn’t really my cup of tea.

    • dmmacilroy July 18, 2014 at 10:02 am #

      Dear Adelie,

      And here I thought everyone enjoyed having their assets manipulated.

      Thank you very much for taking the time to read again. I appreciate your comments.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  9. lingeringvisions by Dawn July 16, 2014 at 5:56 pm #

    Good to get rid of the ram. I prefer no witnesses.

    • dmmacilroy July 18, 2014 at 9:59 am #

      Dear Dawn,

      More room for spread sheets, too, right? Thanks for reading.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  10. Claire Fuller July 16, 2014 at 6:10 pm #

    Very clever Doug. Me, I always prefer horizontal analyses rather than vertical, I find one always get a more accurate result that way. Unless of course there is an external element to bear in mind.
    Claire

    • dmmacilroy July 18, 2014 at 9:58 am #

      Dear Claire,

      You are sweet to comment so kindly. i appreciate it. Though it may not be apparent at first reading, I worked overtime on this one.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  11. camgal July 16, 2014 at 6:52 pm #

    Double entendre mastered like no other. Well done Doug, my natural inclination was not to take the story at face value and the comments certainly reconfirmed what my instincts told me 🙂

    • dmmacilroy July 18, 2014 at 9:56 am #

      Dear Camgal,

      Thanks for looking deep. I may have double billed my readers with this one, but got bailed out by the comments. I appreciate yours.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  12. aliciajamtaas July 16, 2014 at 10:39 pm #

    Love what the “between lines” say. Glorious work, Doug. My goat-boy story pales.

    • dmmacilroy July 18, 2014 at 9:53 am #

      Dear Alicia,

      Thank you very much. And take heart in the knowledge that your goat boy story was understood by all.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  13. siobhanmcnamara July 17, 2014 at 12:25 am #

    I will never look at book-keeping in the same light again. I think he will find her method works best in the long run. I wish them every success in their merger 😉

    • dmmacilroy July 18, 2014 at 9:44 am #

      Dear Siobhan,

      Thanks for ‘getting’ this story. Yes, re method, I believe you are correct.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  14. Perry Block (@PerryBlock) July 17, 2014 at 12:39 am #

    Damn it, I wish I’d majored in Accounting!

    • dmmacilroy July 18, 2014 at 9:41 am #

      Dear Perry,

      Me too, my friend, me too. Thanks for reading.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  15. Jan Brown July 17, 2014 at 6:25 am #

    They did NOT teach that kind of inventory in our accounting and finance classes!!! But we managed to find a way to make it happen anyway 🙂

    • dmmacilroy July 18, 2014 at 9:40 am #

      Dear Jan,

      I loved your second sentence. Outstanding comment. Thanks.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  16. patrickprinsloo July 17, 2014 at 1:39 pm #

    I really didn’t understand but had a good laugh.

  17. Nan Falkner July 18, 2014 at 9:33 am #

    Dear Doug, You are so very clever to write about inventory and the invoices. You crack me up and hey – don’t get rid of the ram! He is so good for the morale of the bean counters! I remember doing inventory for Camerons Dry Goods in Springdale, Arkansas when I was a teenager and during college too. Wow – Doug, you are good! Nan 🙂

    • dmmacilroy July 18, 2014 at 9:38 am #

      Dear Nan,

      I appreciate your kind comment. I’m glad my story brought back memories for you. I think next week I will try to be a little less obscure. Thanks for reading.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  18. rgayer55 July 18, 2014 at 10:55 am #

    I’m afraid some of my assets have depreciated over the years and manipulating them is not as easy as it once was. But I just don’t have the heart to write them off.

    • dmmacilroy July 18, 2014 at 11:04 am #

      Dear Russell,

      Hahahahaha, Truer words were never spoken.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  19. Amy Reese July 20, 2014 at 4:41 am #

    She wants a horizontal analysis. A ha! I think she will get her wish. Oh, so clever. It took me a few readings to read between the lines. Your writing is simply so eloquent, so it didn’t occur to me at first that they might have ulterior motives. Aloha! Amy

  20. talesfromthemotherland July 20, 2014 at 4:09 pm #

    Doug, I’m with Amy! A horizontal analysis is definitely clever beyond clever. This whole piece just flows easily and really sparkles with creativity and wit. Bravo!

  21. David Stewart July 21, 2014 at 12:33 am #

    Doug,
    this is a masterful piece of doublespeak here, my friend. Immediate liquidation; he needs to learn how to invest better, I think. 🙂

  22. elappleby July 21, 2014 at 9:53 pm #

    It sounds like you know what you’re talking about, but I’m not convinced 🙂 At least the last bit made sense to me (although I’d have kept the ram!)

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