Garden Party

4 Sep

Here is a 100 word story for Friday Fictioneeers based on the photo prompt supplied by our bus driver, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The picture has a box for everyone. I’m in the one with the little green note asking; Please, must you laugh incessantly? Or perhaps I live one down to the left, forever being told to not spit on the sidewalk. Depends on your POV. This prompt is a writer’s paradise. Enjoy.

Garden Party

“Mom, are there such things as Zombies?” I asked.

“Only in books and movies, dear.”

“If they’re not real then why do people write about them?”

“I don’t know, dear. I think it has something to do with confronting one’s fears.”

“Is there a Santa Claus?”

“No, my love.”

“Easter Bunny?”

“No.”

“God?”

“Of course not, sweetheart, but never say so in mixed company.”

“What about all the people that go to church?”

“It is enough that you know that they believe it with all their hearts.”

“Mommy, are there Vampires?

“Hush up and eat your soup before it clots.”

clot cleaning

65 Responses to “Garden Party”

  1. JKBradley September 4, 2013 at 2:06 pm #

    It clots less quickly if you add tobasco.

    • dmmacilroy September 4, 2013 at 2:12 pm #

      Dear JK,

      Adding tobasco to my grocery list. Thanks for commenting, my friend.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  2. Ye Pirate September 4, 2013 at 2:07 pm #

    Hah! Another weekly loud chuckle from here! I strain my eyes looking for a suggestion to make, but in reality these are so well-crafted I cannot. This one was pure art, in that it takes the reader a slight half-second more to suddenly laugh. Really a gem.

    • dmmacilroy September 4, 2013 at 2:14 pm #

      Dear Managua,

      Thanks for the belly laugh. I appreciate it on this early Wednesday morning. Headed your way now.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  3. Charles Williams Aborishade September 4, 2013 at 2:09 pm #

    The rhythm here is beautiful. Doug, what a beauty of a writing.

    • dmmacilroy September 4, 2013 at 2:39 pm #

      Dear Charles,

      Thank you for your kind comment.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  4. rgayer55 September 4, 2013 at 2:27 pm #

    You’re right, there is a lot of opportunity in that box. Imagination is a wonderful thing. I worry about the children of today and hope that constantly having electronic devices at their fingertips doesn’t prevent them from developing healthy imaginations.
    More soup, please.

    • dmmacilroy September 4, 2013 at 2:38 pm #

      Dear Russell,

      70% of the children of today would survive the transition from 2013 to 1963. The rest would keep the shrinks of the world in business for another fifty years.

      Soup’s on the way.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  5. elmowrites September 4, 2013 at 2:31 pm #

    I and my potential clotting disorder are staying away from you! Loved the story, and the glimpses into another world.
    One[apostrophe]s fears, perhaps?

    • dmmacilroy September 4, 2013 at 2:35 pm #

      Dear Jennifer,

      Looking into the apostrophe catashrophe ( I love typing that) (adding apostrophe—thanks) and thanking you for reading. Enjoy the Mother country.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  6. sandraconner September 4, 2013 at 2:58 pm #

    Naughty, naughty, naughty: You led us to the wrong box to identify you. You belong in the one with the TV showing “Twilight Zone.”

    Particularly well-crafted, as usual. The first line was a surprise in itself, and that definitely whetted my appetite for the rest. But even though I read every line carefully, I was taken totally by surprise again with the last line. Man, it’s hard to write a story that packs that kind of wallop in just 100 words. But it seems to be your forte.

    • dmmacilroy September 4, 2013 at 3:06 pm #

      Dear Sandra,

      I’m chasing you all over the internet this morning. Thank you for reading everything I’ve written in the last three weeks, particularly this week’s offering. I’ve always said that if I wrote a vampire story it would be a good one so I’m gratified you enjoyed it.

      i hope you’re busy world is humming along nicely. Write for us when you can. Write for you all the time!

      Aloha,

      Doug

  7. claireful September 4, 2013 at 3:26 pm #

    I love how Vampire has a capital V, just as Easter Bunny has capital E and B, and God has a capital G. It’s all only about what you believe in. I believe you’re a Very Good Writer.
    Claire

    • dmmacilroy September 4, 2013 at 3:32 pm #

      Dear Claire,

      You just Made My Day. Thank you very much! 🙂

      Aloha,

      Doug

  8. Tom Poet September 4, 2013 at 5:50 pm #

    Doug,
    Love the picture at the end. Is excellent a word you get tired of hearing? Thanks for the laugh. EXCELLENT!
    Tom

  9. summerstommy2 September 4, 2013 at 7:50 pm #

    Hi Doug, Love this one. Great conclusion. Made me laugh.

    • Douglas MacIlroy September 6, 2013 at 6:15 am #

      Dear Summerstommy,

      Vampires like laughter. Can’t have a slaughter without it.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  10. helenmidgley September 4, 2013 at 8:01 pm #

    Great bit of story telling, the humour an added bonus 😉

    • Douglas MacIlroy September 6, 2013 at 6:16 am #

      Dear Helen,

      Thak you for visiting and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  11. misskzebra September 4, 2013 at 8:07 pm #

    Great dialogue, loved the ending. 😀

  12. bridgesareforburning September 5, 2013 at 12:38 am #

    Hi Doug,
    Oh, yuk, blood soup. I loved this conversation, and how the child kept pursuing information and how honest the answers were. And then once you had established all this honesty, that hairpin turnaround. Just brilliant. Ron

    • Douglas MacIlroy September 6, 2013 at 6:20 am #

      Dear Ron,

      Thanks for not being put off by my Vampire story. Your comments always make me feel as though my time in the blog box isn’t totally wasted. I appreciate that very much. Now, even though they don’t exist, i think I’m going to have to confront my fear and write a Zombie story.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  13. Sandra September 5, 2013 at 8:17 am #

    Three times I’ve commented on this, and three times my connection failed. So apologies if it eventually comes through in triplicate.

    You crack me up with this. The voice, timing and punchline are perfect. But then so are you… or as near as makes no difference. 😉 Well done.

    • dmmacilroy September 5, 2013 at 9:07 am #

      Dear Sandra,

      I do sympathize with you. Tin cans and strings would often be better.

      Thanks for liking my story and persevering in the commenting. ILY.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  14. moondustwriter September 5, 2013 at 12:35 pm #

    need to find a chaser for the clotting soup
    werewolf fangs perhaps
    delightful tale and thanks for the visit

    • Douglas MacIlroy September 6, 2013 at 6:37 am #

      Dear MDW,

      Thank you for stopping by. Warfarin chaser? Mmmm good.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  15. Helena Hann-Basquiat September 5, 2013 at 4:45 pm #

    ONE! ONE surprise ending! AH AH AAAHHH!

    • Douglas MacIlroy September 6, 2013 at 6:38 am #

      Dear Helena,

      That’s the way it is for most victims in Vampire stories. Surprise ending.

      Thank you for visiting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  16. Linda Vernon September 5, 2013 at 5:22 pm #

    You threw me off completely. I thought it was going to be a religious experience. I guess it kind of was for Vampires! LOL!!

    • Douglas MacIlroy September 6, 2013 at 6:40 am #

      Dear Linda,

      Thaks for sharing your thoughts. Zombies on the skewer next.

      Aloha,

      Doug

      • Linda Vernon September 6, 2013 at 6:15 pm #

        Oh boy! Somebody needs to skewer Zombies but good! And you’re just the writer to do it, Doug. 😀

  17. draliman September 5, 2013 at 5:50 pm #

    Wow – the ending took me totally by surprise! I wonder when the kid will learn the truth 🙂

    • Douglas MacIlroy September 6, 2013 at 6:41 am #

      Dear Draliman,

      Hard tellin’, not knowin’. She’ll sort it out. Thanks for visiting and commenting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  18. waitingforaname September 5, 2013 at 5:52 pm #

    Ew. I’ll pass on the soup, thank you. 😉

    • Douglas MacIlroy September 6, 2013 at 6:42 am #

      Dear Lisa,

      Vegetarian Vampires would be a rare breed, eh? Thanks for visiting.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  19. jwdwrites September 5, 2013 at 8:28 pm #

    Hello Doug, first Vampire story eh? Who would know. I really loved the way you built up to that last line and the dialogue was great. Well done. 🙂

    • Douglas MacIlroy September 6, 2013 at 6:44 am #

      Dear JWD,

      Yes, my first. As a kind of test to see whether it could be done…the writing of a different sort of Vampire story. Thanks for your input.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  20. Lindaura Glamoura September 5, 2013 at 9:22 pm #

    Totally enjoyed this and had a good laugh. Thank you. Loved the photo also. Yes, the innocent questions and the honest considered answers were very refreshing. But, “Before it clots.” Hilarious.

    • Douglas MacIlroy September 6, 2013 at 6:46 am #

      Dear Lindaura,

      Have to keep the children guessing. Thanks for dropping in and commenting. I appreciate it.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  21. kz September 6, 2013 at 3:06 am #

    now THAT’s a different take on vampires! enjoyed the exchange between mom and kid. i really love this.

    • kz September 6, 2013 at 3:07 am #

      p.s. you know, we do have a native Filipino dish, a stew made out of pig’s blood and innards ^^

      • Douglas MacIlroy September 6, 2013 at 6:48 am #

        Dear Kz,

        Thanks for visiting and commenting. Did not know of the pig’s blood stew. What is it called? Only Fillipino delight I know of by name is Balut. Equally appetizing,

        Aloha,

        Doug

      • kz September 6, 2013 at 8:00 am #

        it’s called dinuguan. i only eat it when it’s cooked by my grandma. i like my pig intestines deep fried and high in cholesterol.lol balut, well, i could never bring myself to eat it. cow’s tongue, innards and tail, however, i have absolutely no problem with. ^^

  22. neenslewy September 6, 2013 at 8:50 am #

    Fantastic end line, eugh! A great dialogue, all the curious questions and patient answers. Would have scared me if it wasn’t for the Sesame Street homage at the end 😉

  23. Joanna (Lazuli Portals Trilogy) September 6, 2013 at 10:10 am #

    Doug, the ending was so completely unexpected, my mouth fell open. I closed it, quickly, before something unpleasant sneaked in. (Or my fangs appeared.)

    Very Well Done, Doug (yes, note the caps, please) and still reeling from your shock revelation. 😉

  24. Joe Owens September 6, 2013 at 12:53 pm #

    Poor little guy has nothing mystical he can beleive in.,What a boring life.

  25. unspywriter September 6, 2013 at 12:56 pm #

    Okay, literally, LOLed. Great dialogue, snappy, revealing. Loved this.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/memory-lane/

    • dmmacilroy September 6, 2013 at 2:05 pm #

      Dear Maggie,

      Thank you for laughing and linking.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  26. Dee September 7, 2013 at 11:34 am #

    Dear Doug
    I just loved this. Good writing, great imagination, brilliantly believeable dialogue..
    Perfect
    Take care
    Dee

  27. erinleary September 7, 2013 at 1:10 pm #

    You must be tired of hearing that this was a very entertaining story, with just the right twist of fun at the end. Well, I won’t trouble you to read those same words. I just won’t. I have soup to make.

  28. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) September 7, 2013 at 1:34 pm #

    That’s the trick with blood soup.. you can do it so it doesn’t clot, but I assume that would make it less desirable for vamps—- thank you fot the chuckel

  29. lingeringvisions by Dawn September 7, 2013 at 11:57 pm #

    Aha, made me LOL

  30. David Stewart September 8, 2013 at 3:19 am #

    Great ending, Doug, and the final picture is the icing on the cake. 🙂

  31. vbholmes September 8, 2013 at 12:29 pm #

    Okay, so how come Vampires rock while Zombies “don’t exist”? Personal experience? Great tale.

    • dmmacilroy September 8, 2013 at 4:34 pm #

      Dear VB,

      If you dig deep into the past you’ll discover I’ve been consistent in my declaration that neither Vampires nor Zombies exist. No need to try to confirm that, though. My story was me keeping a promise to write a good Vampire story (I hope). Next (somewhere down the line) up will be Zombies, who exist only in Washington D.C.

      Thank you for dropping by to read and comment.

      Aloha,

      Doug

  32. Sarah Ann September 8, 2013 at 10:12 pm #

    Oh that’s lovely. Great voices and a great punchline.

  33. The Bumble Files September 9, 2013 at 12:17 am #

    Doug,
    People so want to believe in zombies, don’t they?…I believe that you believe. I loved your punch line. I’m no longer in the mood for soup! Mom sure has a sense of humor.
    Amy

  34. pattisj September 9, 2013 at 5:15 am #

    I doubt I’ll be in the mood for tomato soup anytime soon, Doug. Totally taken by surprise with the ending.

  35. troy P. September 9, 2013 at 12:08 pm #

    As usual, the dialogue was spot on, and I “heard” it much more than read it. The ending, of course, was sublime! In a twisted fashion, of course =)

  36. annisik51 September 10, 2013 at 11:43 am #

    I was hooked till the last word, which was the exact point you twisted your tale. Also, you used your characters to utter truisms to ponder. An achievement in only 100 words. I shall try to emulate your greatness, aka ‘steal your ideas’. 🙂 Ann

  37. Shirley McCann September 10, 2013 at 8:20 pm #

    What an awesome ending. No clue where this was going, but loved the twisted ending. Very cool!!

  38. nightlake September 20, 2013 at 10:57 am #

    Humorous fun ending:) no God, no Santa Claus, but yes, we are vampires. lol

  39. Michael Myers October 24, 2014 at 1:53 am #

    Haha! I was chuckling through the whole thing and then “LOL’d” at the end.

    • dmmacilroy December 23, 2014 at 8:13 pm #

      Dear Mike,

      Time on your hands? I’m happy to see you here and to read your comments. Thanks for dropping by.

      Mele Kalikimaka to you and Malia.

      Aloha,

      Doug

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: