Look at those eyes. Wow.
1oo word story in response to the photo prompt below. Find all the stories here, http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/you-wanna-piece-a-me-100-words/ read, comment, leave a link to yours. Aloha, D.
Waiting for garbage truck. Comes most mornings after my kids leave with food in their backpacks.
Born eight Summers ago. Nine brothers and sisters, all gone somewhere. Mom too. Loved to play with them. Their scent still lingers. Makes me sad. Makes me happy.
Friend. Retriever. Guardian. You don’t like something? Neither do I.
Words? An empty bowl you’re constantly trying to fill with pictures.
Life support system for a nose? You have no idea.
We choose you. Not the other way round. By Dog you ought to realize what a special thing that is.
No name.
Answer to love.
Awww, some great sentiments in here. A dog telling us like it is. Loved it. I didn’t fully understand the ‘life support system for a nose’ line. Am I being dense here? I loved the line ‘you don’t like something? Neither do I’. Isn’t that just a dog for you. Great piece, thanks.
http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/straight-talking-friday-fictioneers-16-march-2012/
Dear Sandra,
There is an old joke or saying or something that says a dog is a life support system for a nose. Just wanted to have the dog comment on that. Ever see them roll in ecstasy on the rotted remains of a dead fish? There must be something to their sense of smell that we have no clue about, so that’s where that sentence was leading.
Thanks for reading.
Aloha,
Doug
Hi Doug, now I feel stupid. :$ Can’t think why I didn’t get it. Thanks for that.
This week prompts seems to have spawned some great responses. I really liked the thought process. How true is that, they choose us. Loved what you did here. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/03/15/a-little-longer/
Thanks for stopping in to read and comment. My story is turning out to be the runt of the litter, but that’s okay. I’m having fun reading all the stories.
Aloha,
Doug
Now I’m not a dog person, so I couldn’t get inside their heads like you and Madison have, but I totally believed your post about the way she thinks. I loved the “makes me sad. makes me happy” line. Isn’t that how grief works for all of us?
I’m over here; http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/friday-fictioneers-lucy
Elmo
Dear Jen,
For not being a dog person you sure captured something special in your story about Lucy and her replacement. Thanks for visiting.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug! I am a cat person, so I just transfered the emotion across. Also, who said Lucy was a dog?!
Ah Doug.
The short, choppy sentence are perfect. Almost seem like they are said between tongue-hanging pants or barks.
Love this line: Words? An empty bowl you’re constantly trying to fill with pictures.
Hi Craig,
Thanks for reading and commenting. That line was a stretch for me, but it sort of says what I think dogs must think about all the blather they hear. What they’re really doing is watching our body language and hands.
Aloha,
Doug
Someone once said, “God created dogs so man would know how we are supposed to love Him.” Another of my favorites (regarding dogs) is, “Lock your wife and your dog in the truck of your car for an hour and see which one is happy to see you when you open the lid.”
See–now you’ve got me started . . .
Great job, Doug. Thanks for the nice comments on mine.
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Dear Russell,
That is such a perfect saying that I wish I’d figured out a way to weave a story around it. Thanks for visiting. (I joined the Old Dogs group a few minutes ago. Thanks for the phone number:)
Aloha,
Doug
Preach on! I’ve often thought that when we get on so well with a dog it’s because they made the decision to accept us. We don’t get much of a say in it! For the same reason, when I was raising Great Pyrenees, if my daddy dog didn’t like who came up to see the pups–they didn’t get in and were told no–sorry.
You pretty much covered it all my friend. You write dog talk pretty darn good. You have the inside scoop! 😉
xoxo Jeannie
http://thewriternubbin.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/flash-friday-fictioneers-the-vigil/
Thanks Jeannie,
i love dogs and watch them closely. Every now and then I look at my favorite, a heeler named Widget, to come find me when I show up at Heaven. I hope he understands.
Aloha,
Doug
I love the short sentences. It really sounded like the dog’s thoughts!
Dear Susie,
I just read your blarney stone story. Well done there.
Thanks for visiting my dog of a story.
Aloha,
Doug
Doug, this was lovely. I love the part about his family, and especially liked the part about the dog choosing his owner. Also, the fragmented sentences was so “dog-like,” too. Very nice! Wag-wag!
http://jansthoughtsovercoffee.blogspot.com/2012/03/waiting-for-my-boy-fridayfictioneers.html?showComment=1331904871662#c5400894546438083875
Yes, I love that he calls the children his kids! I know that is how our dogs feel! They wait patiently for their kids every day after school, most days whining and panting as 4pm approaches. Fantastic!!
Thanks Joy,
I’m gratified that you picked up on that. Really tried to channel all my dog knowledge in this one.
Aloha,
Doug
Another great story Doug.
I loved the way you used those show, sharp sentences throughout. Each one seemed to be intent on tugging at the emotions, “Born eight Summers ago. Nine brothers and sisters, all gone somewhere. Mom too. Loved to play with them. Their scent still lingers. Makes me sad. Makes me happy.” Each short sentence leaves no end of images in the readers head.
Sorry Doug, meant to say ‘short, sharp sentences’ don’t know where ‘show, sharp sentences came from! Saw it just as I hit the post comment button.
I am the master at reading exactly what you meant to say. I am also the master at hitting the ‘reply’ button before I should. No worries, mate!
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Mike,
Thanks, my friend. You know how dogs pant or bark in short, sharp exclamations? Tried to match that in the story. Thanks for noticing.
Aloha,
Doug
So many posts doing such a good job getting into a dog’s head. I love how you used short phrases or just one word to convey images or thoughts. I also liked how it had the feel of a singles ad.
Here’s mine: http://teschoenborn.com/2012/03/15/friday-fictioneers-2/
Singles ad? Cool. Maybe there’s a future for me as a ghost writer of singles ads.
Thanks for visiting and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks for the love,
I enjoyed trying to see and write from a dog’s perspective. Normally I write from a Doug’s perspective so all I had to do was lose the ‘u’. Worked out okay.
Aloha,
Doug
Doug there is something about your story that has made me read it several times. I love it, it seems to capture more meaning each time. My favourite part is definately the last two lines. “No name. Answers to love”. I think that says it all.
Thanks Janet,
Those comments mean a lot to me.
Aloha,
Doug
While I don’t have time to do a 100 word response because I am leaving town in a minute, I just want to say – CAN I HAVE THAT DOG?
Hi Robin,
Thanks for commenting. I guess you’ll have to get in line for the dog. Madison will probably fight you for it. Put a steak in your back pocket.
Aloha,
Doug
“Born eight Summers ago. Nine brothers and sisters, all gone somewhere. Mom too. Loved to play with them. Their scent still lingers. Makes me sad. Makes me happy.”
I think this is the part I understood best, as it’s sort of how we all feel about family and how we drift apart…minus the scent part, I guess!
garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/fridayfictioneers-the-colour-of-death/
Hey friend,
Only because we have such bad noses, eh? Was just a dog’s stream of consciousness. Nothing to understand in there. Bow wow, buddy.
Aloha,
Doug
Thought provoking as always.
I liked – “We choose you, not the other way round”.
But I got lost at a dew places too. Could not find the connect between sentences. Maybe I don’t have the complete context. For instance I read your explanation about the “Life Support System for nose” and understood what that meant.
That’s one embittered dog!
Here’s mine for the week –
http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/premonition/
Hi Parul,
No worries. There was no connect between lines other than any that might come from a dog’s stream of consciousness. He’s sitting and thinking as he waits to bark at the garbage truck. It’s a dog’s life.
Aloha,
Doug
This was wonderful, I greatly enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing this with us!
Here’s mine:
http://sarahthestoryteller.wordpress.com
Thanks Sarah,
Glad you liked it. I’ll swing by yours this evening. Norse dog story?:)
Aloha,
Doug
Love the last sentence.
Here’s mine: http://furiousfictions.com. I also hope you have time to read D.S. Sulaitis’ terrific story, “The Lovers,” which I posted on Tuesday.
Hi Joe,
Welcome back. Thanks for dropping in. I’ve got to get to a dinner party. Will get to yours tonight, like a buried bone.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Doug,
I like this look inside a dog’s mind. I wondered if my two remember their siblings, and now I know. “We choose you” ~ truer words. It’s funny how each dog bonded in his/her own distinct way with each member of the family.
(PS – my dogs answer to “cookie”)
Happy Aloha Friday!
~Susan (Here’s mine: http://www.susanwenzel.com/)
I forgot…I love “By Dog” too!
I’m glad someone noticed that.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Susan,
Of all the lines I fudged in that story, the ‘answer to love’ line was the biggest fudge. I think it’s because in dog language, love and cookie are spelled the same!
Thanks for your kind comments.
Aloha,
Doug
I certainly agree. In dog, love = cookie. It’s probably time that I go give them each some.
~Susan
Oh, my goodness, Doug–I have not got a single comment to make that hasn’t been made. It was a terrific story–one of my favorites AND I would just bundle every good comment into one humongous compliment to your writing skill. LOVED it!
Dear V.L.
Put a bandana on that dog and you could see him and Peg Leg Pete working a claim, eh? Thanks for visiting and commenting. I appreciate the boost.
Aloha,
Doug
Whoops! I got too excited–forgot to leave mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
Loved the “by Dog” remark. Well done. Answers to love. As we all should. 🙂
Here’s mine, a little more human in aspect:
http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/03/outside-of-dog-100words-for.html
Dear Siobhan,
Truer words were never spoken, eh?
Thanks for dropping by to read and comment. I’ll get to yours after I get back from a dinner party.
Aloha,
Doug
Really liked the fragmented sentences. Mimics thinking by humans, and, I’m assuming, dogs. Thought it was brilliant to use two different types sizes to distinguish who is talking. At least that’s my guess. When you have only 100 words to fill the bowl, that’s one way to slip in some extra info. I think there’s a comment here on writers, how they are always trying to fill voids with words. Don’t know if that was your intent, but it’s what I took away.
Here’s mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/
Hi Ron,
I wish I was that clever. I submitted the total work and stared at it with my shaggy eyes and saw the type sizes were different but had just gotten off of the mountain and couldn’t deal with it. Sorry for the confusion. It was all dog thoughts.
Aloha,
Doug
Hi Doug,
As a dog person since birth, I think that the Gary Larsen Farside cartoon probably got it best: first panel, man talking effusively and lovingly to his dog; second panel, what the dog is hearing: blahblahblahfoodblahblahblahwalkblahblahblahfoodblahblahblah…. but yours is a valiant effort! Though I’m not sure dogs are as poetic as yours, except in motion, poetry in motion.
Yes Carlos,
Gary Larson totally nailed it with that one. I plagiarized with my bowl line. Hope he’ll forgive me. Thanks for stopping in. Haven’t read yours. Headed to sniff it out now.
Aloha,
Doug
The bowl line was my favorite, but I don’t consider that plagiarism, just you being your usual superlative self.
Great! Loved the “By Dog” line!
Thanks Maggie,
That one line really has a huge hidden couple of brush strokes in it about a dog’s inner world. Thanks for commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
I think it’s sweet.
http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/friday-fictioneers-good-dog/
I caught what no one else has..so far, that is. There is only one explanation. You were a dog in your past life. Otherwise, how could your portray one so perfectly. Beautifully written. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
Hi Lora,
Thanks. Dog in past life and allergic to them in this one. (My two dogs are outside dogs and I have to wash my hands after I pet them. Every time.) I just tried to get into their heads by thinking about life from their point of view. And I’m a great reder of comments with typos, don’t sweat it. Context is everything, eh?
Aloha,
Doug
Excuse the typo…meant to write: Otherwise, how could you portray… etc.
Aw, Doug, this is really wonderful. I love the way you portray the dog’s thoughts. Blunt, yet grounded in the scents and feelings the dog connects to. Lovely.
Dear Cara,
I was lucky. Brought one of my dogs into the office and asked him a few questions. He really helped.
Thanks for visiting:)
Aloha,
Doug
You don’t like something? Neither do I. – Loved this line.
This was a great piece. I loved the choppiness and the fragments, I think it fits the MC.
Mine is here: http://threedescriptors.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/flash-fiction-18-watch-dog/
Dear Miq,
As I said in my comment to you about Watch Dog, your story was the Grand Prize Winner in my book this week. Others have done well, but yours was spooky good.
Thanks for visiting.
Aloha,
Doug
A lovely tribute to dogginess, and yes, I think sometimes it is they who choose us.
Ah, the essence of Dog captured here. Straightforwardly poetic. I always wonder how much pets miss their siblings when they come to us. I liked this, thanks for sharing it, Doug.
My mythologicaly-inspired entry is over here: http://joannakneilson.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/flash-fiction-friday-send-mitsy/
My fav line is Miq’s: You don’t like something? neither do I. That’s loyalty. Loved your approach to this one Doug, it sounded just like a dog.
As Joanna said, you have definitely captured the essence of dog, here. Very nice.
Here’s my tale: http://wp.me/p24aJS-3m